Aed jokes
So you know how sheets are always so tight at hotels?
Well I looked under the bed and there is a freaking room cleaner holding the sheets. All he says is "Don't ask or you shall die!"
You wanna hear a joke about my penis?
Don’t worry, it’s too long.
What do Chinese parents hate the most?
A newborn daughter...
What is the skeleton's favorite car?
A Zam-bone-y.
What do you call a Mexican that hung him self? a pinata
As a hobby, I started taking walks around the old clock tower.
It's a great way to pass the time.
I had a friend who was a deep sleeper. One day, a fire started in his house. Now he's a really deep sleeper.
Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his car?
Because he wanted people to say look at that S-car go when he rolled by.
Two's company, cheese a crowd!
I like wine how I like my woman.
4 year old locked in a basement.
Q: What's the best part about gardening?
A: Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Answer: Depresso.
Question: Why can't you trust a tree?
Answer: 'Cause they are always shady.
What do you call a mammal that has no hair?
Cancer.
Yo mama is so fat, when she got on the scale it said, "One at a time, please."
Wife: "How would you describe me?"
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable (A), beautiful (B), cute (C), delightful (D), elegant (E), fashionable (F), gorgeous (G), and hot (H)."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
What do you call a gay friend?
Miguel Del Rosario Domingo.
My friend had no school because of heavy snow.
Guess you could say it was a snow school day!
What is a box called when a cough dies in it?
A coffin.
Why was 4 not impressed when 5 won a prize for 6?
Because 511472.