Aed jokes
Why can't Cleopatra ride a bicycle?
Because she's dead.
You never told me you were part orangutan. Have you considered taking a vacation to Planet of the Apes?
What's 2 + 2? A: 22.
What do you call a Mexican Baptism?
Bean Dip.
What’s a sheep’s favorite fruit?
A baaaaaaaanaaaaaana!
I used to work at a calendar factory, but I got fired because I missed a few days.
A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, "uno, dos..." and poof! He disappears without a tres.
What's the only time you can do almost whatever you want?
When you have a gun in your hand.
- Mommy, I want a bicycle!
- Shut up, Sam! You've already got your wheelchair!
THERE IS NO AFTERLIFE.
Mexican runs into a wall. He loses hope.
What's the hardest part of running through a field of dead babies?
My boner.
What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.
So Helen Keller walked into a bar, then a stool, then a table, then a door...
Dark Humor is like a child with cancer. It never gets old.
A blind guy and his seeing eye dog walk into a bar.
The blind guy starts swinging the dog around on the leash.
The bartender yells, "Sir, stop! What are you doing!?"
The blind guy says, "I'm just looking around."
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.
What first went through Sally's head when the Nazis came? A bullet.
Where did Sally go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere.
What did Sally get for Christmas? A bike.
What do you call a pen with no head?
DeCAPitated.
A man walks into a bar and notices a steak hanging from the ceiling. When he asks the bartender about it, the bartender says, "If you can jump up and hit it, drinks are on the house for the night, but if you miss, everyone's drinks are on your tab for the next two hours. Do you want to try?" The man decided not to take the risk. He thought the steaks were too high.
I would tell you a construction pun, but I'm still working on it.