Aed jokes
A priest and a rabbi run out of a burning church, and the priest says, "What about the children?" The rabbi says, "Fuck the children." And the priest says, "Do you think we'll have time?"
How many beaten children does it take to change a light bulb for a drunken father?
Apparently not enough to impress him.
What happens when you see corn looking at you in your window?
A corn stalk!
Someone tracked down a cripple and said, "You can hide, but you can't run!"
My life is such an udder disappointment. What an udder failure!
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.
What does a pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common?
They can both smell it, but they can’t eat it.
Chuck Norris once stepped on a Lego.
The Lego broke in half.
What was the chip doing at the hairdressers?
It was getting a crinkle cut.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Fruit Ninja was a gay weeaboo!
So, two condoms walk by a gay bar. What does one condom say to the other? "Hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"
I was walking down the street and saw a kid slip on a plum.
I look to my right and died of laughter because I did the same!
My class is my house is quite. I suck a dick, now one cares.
A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
Artificial Intelligence.
I despise lumberjacks. They are always barking up the wrong tree, all bark and no bite.
They just need to leaf people alone or stick with something nicer.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
Are you a lightbulb, cuz you brighten up my day?
What's the difference between a cat and a banana? It's hard to peel a cat.
Two brothers were arguing. One went: "You're an idiot!"
The other went: "Your brother's a mother!"
He replied: "Yeah, I know. Thanks for agreeing with me."