Aed jokes
Tyler: What's your favorite fruit?
Frankie: Pineapple duh, what's yours?
Tyler: Pineapple
Frankie: Wanna come over and watch some Netflix? I'm home alone.
Tyler: Absolutely!! What time should I be there?
Frankie: Right now.
Tyler: Sweet! Should I bring a condom?
Frankie: Now enough talk, let's fuck.
Tyler: I thought you never asked.
How do you turn a straight guy into a gay guy? Well... for starters, you grab that ass of his, drag him into the bathroom, and tell him to suck my long, big pineapple, and thus you have yourself one straight guy converted into a dick-sucking machine.
What do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator?
A box of crackers.
So my friend and I went camping at a Cold Lake Campground and he jumped into it without any warning, and so I asked him, "Wat-er you doing?"
Me and my friend went to the park. After a while, we grabbed our little princess and said, "It's time to go, sweetie." But before we could go, someone said, "Stop them, they have my daughter!"
Can we have a party in space?
First, we need to planet ;)
Get it? "Plan it" = planet.
A miscarriage always brings the child out in me.
A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street, and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, "Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?"
To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?"
A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
A man crashed his new expensive car into a tree. He now knew how the Mercedes bends.
A new game the whole family can play...
Incest.
What do you call a joke without a punchline?
What's red and in a corner?
A baby with a razor blade.
What's green and in a corner?
The same baby three weeks later.
Q: Why can't you run through a campground?
A: You can only ran, because it's past tents!
Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester!
"Knock knock?"
"Mustache."
"I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later!"
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because chickens are mindless creatures and do not know any better.
What camel has 3 humps?
...A pregnant one.
There was a dog in the middle of the room, so I called it and started to play fetch. Then my mother shouted at me for playing with my food. I missed it, but it was tasty.
Me: (pointing up in the air) "Everybody listen up, this is a robbery!"
Girl: "Dude, this is a library."
Me: "Oh." (screwing on a silencer)