Aed jokes
What do you call a dick playing badminton?
A shuttlecock.
What was the winning play at the leper football game?
A hand off up the middle.
What do you call a band made of cheese?
Grate That!
What would a clock look like with no numbers?
Timeless!
What do you call a clever clock?
Clockwise.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Because he doesn’t know where home is.
What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
I don't f**k a sandwich before I eat it.
A man and a cow walk into a McDonalds, and the man walks up to the front counter and says, “I’d like one beef burger.” The employee of McDonalds said, “Sure thing sir, also I really like to see your cow, may I bring him into the back room really quick to show my co-workers?” The man says, “Sure.” The employee takes the cow into the back room. A couple minutes later, the employee came back with his burger. The man took a bite of it, and realized his cow was gone.
Why did Paul Walker cross the road?
He wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Licka-lotta-puss.
What's a rapist's favorite scale?
C Minor.
You don't need a license to drive a sandwich.
Aj died in a bar.
The end.
Wanna hear a joke?
Yeah.
...
What's the joke?
I said it already!
What's the difference between a rabbi and a priest? One cuts them off and one sucks them off.
Three Jewish people walk into a bar.
Q: A mom had 5 children: January, February, March, April. What is the name of the fifth child?
A: What.
Three blonde girls are on an island, and they are much too far away from land to swim. They find a genie on the island who offers them each one wish. The first girl says, "I wish I was smart enough to get off this island!" So the genie makes her a redheaded girl, she cuts down a tree, makes it into a boat, and proceeds to row off the island.
The next girl says, "I wish I was even smarter than her so I don't have to do so much manual labor!" So she turns into a brunette and makes a sailboat and lets the wind take her off the island.
The final girl says, "I wish I was smarter than both of them!" So she turns into a man and takes the bridge.
A cardboard belt is a waste of paper.
A blond-haired girl, a brown-haired girl, and a ginger-haired girl were out walking when they came across some tracks.
The brown-haired girl looked at them and said, "I think they are elephant tracks."
Then the ginger-haired girl looked at the tracks and said, "No way, they are definitely duck tracks."
Finally, the blond-haired girl bent down to examine the tracks when she got hit by the train.