Aed jokes

I am a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.

My friend had a drink called Quick Start, so I said, "That's a quick start to the morning!"

What do a "transgender" woman's favorite song and his/her last online order have in common?

~they're both a dick in a box.

How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?

You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.

Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?

Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.

A man was mowing his lawn when blue and red stuff came out instead of grass. Next thing he knew, a smurf was on his shoulder asking if he’s seen his friend.

What's a pedophile's favorite type of garden?

A kindergarden.

What do you call two Mexicans in a sleeping bag?

A Twix.

A young boy enters a barber shop, and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

"What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.

"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"

The boy licked his cone and replied:

"Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!"

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender said, "Why the long face?"

A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it.

Doctor: "I have good news and bad news."

Guy: "What's the bad news?"

Doc: "They replaced your toe with a piece of candy."

Guy: "Good news?"

Doc: "You now have tic tac toe."

One day Johnae said, "What do you call a family outing?"

"Incest."

Low key Johnae fucks Kirby and Peach.

Someone was crushing a bag of chips. I said, "Are you making edibles?"

Your face is a joke.

Yesterday I was fucking my sister, and she said, "You fuck a lot like dad." I said, "Really? Mum said that too."

I went into a dark basement with a flashlight, but then it died, but I was not scared. I was actually delighted.

What do you call a kid watching Star Wars by themselves?

Hans Solo.

What do you call a crazy computer?

Wired.

I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn't have a homepage.

When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.