Aed jokes
One day a guy named Carson is called a jerk, and he says, "I went to a party with my girlfriend, and this random guy walks up to us and says, 'Can I borrow your girlfriend for 30 minutes?' I say yes, and he takes her upstairs. It was not only 30 minutes, but an hour. When she came back down, she was out of breath, so I knew it was a pretty intense conversation." This happens about 3 more times that night.
But as I was saying, only a nice guy would let his girlfriend make friends with other guys. 😊😇
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.
A pun walked into a room and killed ten people.
Pun in, ten dead.
Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun."
Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?"
Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?"
Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."
Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?"
Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."
What does a South African Batman wear? A cape.
Why can't a T-Rex clap?
He's dead.
10 years ago my dad went to get milk. He said when he got back, he was going to tell me a joke. That joke better be worth it!
When you see an "Autistic child zone" sign and say, "Oh! That wasn't a dog."
What do you call a no "r"-med T-rex?
A T-ex.
What do you call a dictionary on drugs?
High definition or addictionary.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No-eye-deer (no idea).
You know, eBay sucks. I was looking for a lighter, and it gave me 18,906 matches.
There was a dino at the library today.
It was reading a thesaurus.
What place can you find a cow? Mc'Donalds (Eieio)
Is it weird that a milk carton has a date, and I don’t?
I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn't like it if we don't work on math in his class. So, I did science homework on top of a math book.
What’s white and crunchy and swings through trees?
A meringue-atang.
2019, where you can change your gender at a snap of a finger.
I'm supposed to put a joke here.
But I can't find a mirror...can you find one yourself?
I'm sure you'll laugh.
I know a lot of jokes, but I could learn a femor.