Aed jokes
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!"
"Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are just contractions."
Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar...
"GET OUT OF HERE!!!" The Bartender shouts, "We don't serve your type!"
A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar.
No joke!
Why couldn't the button get off the couch?
Because his butt weighed a ton! (butt-ton)
Where do fish sleep?
On a seabed!
What is the strongest creature in the sea?
A mussel!
Where do fish keep their money?
In a riverbank!
How do you confuse a fish?
Put it in a round fishbowl and tell it to go to the corner!
What do you get when you cross a shark and a snowman?
Frostbite!
What would you find on a haunted beach?
A sand-witch!
"Hey guys, I'm a new jokester, remember my name as I'll be making a lot more!!! P.S. They will be much better than this one!"
Why doesn't the witch wear panties?
To get a better grip on her broom stick!
Don’t fart in an Apple Store.
It has no Windows.
He tried to install a free version of Windows 10.
Last time I got a piece of ass was when my finger went through the toilet paper.
What are the differences between a preschool and a pedophile's basement? Little kids leave preschool.
What do you call a gay grenade?
A fragette.
I don't like 9/11 jokes because they always talk about how bad of a plane driver my dad is.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on his period?
Mario Kart.
I saw a disabled person in the super market. They were at the vegetable aisle.
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."