Aed jokes

I caught my sister licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that for?" She replied, "I'm doing it for practice for your friends."

I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.

My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."

A blind man walked into me at a store. I said, "Watch it, bitch!" and he said, "Sorry, I didn't see you there."

Me: Have you ever went sky diving?

Friend: No.

Me: Well don't, it sucks.

Friend: Why?

Me: They gave me a parachute and I lived.

So I made a parody for "Me, Myself, and I." It goes like this: "Me, Myself, and I, I'm gonna drink bleach until I die!"

What did my grandpa say after he kicked the bucket?

Nothing, I unplugged his life support before he said a word.

One time this kid came back from school and said, "Mom I have one good news and one bad news, which one do you wanna hear first?" And his mom said, "Good news please," and the boy said, "I got 100% on my math test today." and his mom gave him a hug, and the boy said, "Now to the bad news, I LIED!"

Teacher: Take a seat, class.

Wheelchair person: I've been in the seat.

A person with a wheelchair makes a joke. No one laughs.

Inner thought: "Wheely Manerva, wheely."

How to make holy water:

1. Grab a pot.

2. Put water in it.

3. Set the stove to 420 degrees.

4. Boil the hell out of it.

My friend Nickiya wanted to know what animal she'd be. I said that she would be a "Ni-cat-a."

Why was the cow scared? Cause he had a nightmoo-r.

Is Will Smith a blacksmith?

What do you call a hill with cows on it?

A Moo-ntain.

My friend asks for a turkey burger on 4th of July. I say, "That's Thanksgiving, man!"

What do you do when you made a misteak?

You do some yoga 🧘‍♀️ and say, "Namaaa steak."

What was the guy with no arms, legs, or a head name?

Matt.

You wanna know what's a concept? An orphan being homeschooled.

What's a homeless person's favorite cookie?

Pooreos.

Why were the tenants of the Twin Towers sad?

They ordered a pepperoni pizza, but they got PLANE.