Aed jokes
How many times does 50 fit into 9?
Get in a van and find out!
If someone made a comedy routine about Terri Schiavo, would that be considered roasting a vegetable?
It's a little known fact that Helen Keller was against teaching deaf people sign language and thought they should be forced to use oral language.
Weird.
Last time I forced somebody into oral, I got arrested.
What do you call it when an Arab girl has an abortion?
Removing a bomb.
What do you call an apartment full of Black people?
A crackhouse.
What’s a rapper’s favorite type of fishing?
Catching BIG BASS.
What do you call a rapper who can’t rhyme?
A speech impediment.
A black lady goes inside the drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Do you carry tampons?" Then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "Do you want the mini pads or the maxi pads?"
And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"
And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"
And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."
What is a terrorist's favorite song?
"Pumped Up Kicks."
What is the difference between kinky and perverted?
Kinky is when an abled-bodied gay male is receiving an anonymous blow job from a physically disabled gay male under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
Perverted is when an abled-bodied gay male has to give a Klondike Bar to a physically disabled gay male to receive an anonymous blow job under the handicapped stall at a rest area.
What is the difference between a black man and Jew?
One was born burnt.
What’s a priest's favorite sport?
Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.
What do you call a gay person on fire? LGBBQ.
What do you call a disabled person on fire? Hot wheels.
What do you call an Asian person on fire? Vietnam.
What is the difference between a Mexican maid and a Jewish maid?
One of them won’t clean the oven.
What do you call a crowd of horny white women?
Cotton waiting to be picked.
What is the worst thing about dating a blind woman?
Getting her husband's voice just right.
What’s the difference between a fly and Lady Diana?
The sound when they hit the windshield.
Why can’t you have a proper conversation with a gay person?
They’re never straight with you.
What do you call a black abortion clinic?
Crime Stoppers.
Did you know Paul Walker was a method actor? He took his role very seriously as a human torch.