Aed jokes
Why do you call a pineapple a pineapple?
Because it is a pineapple, pin, apple, apple, pen, doudodo.
What does a queen want on her cookie?
Royal Icing.
Me and a person downtown.
Person: Hey, crazy Saturday night.
Me: I guess so.
Person: Why do people do crazy stuff like this?
Me: I don't know. I used to, but don't anymore.
Person: Why'd you stop?
Me: Unfortunately, I lived every time I'd try something.
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
I needed to take a phone call, so I went to the nearest exit. I guess you can say it was very exciting! 😂
I was setting a voice recognition password for my new phone, and a dog nearby barked and ran away. Now I'm still looking for that dog to unlock my phone.
Why is an iPhone X perfect for an orphan? Because it doesn't have a home button.
Enemy: You know, I saw you walking down the street, and at first glance, I thought you were a fat and ugly bitch.
Me: Strange... Who puts a mirror in the middle of the street?
Why did Steven Hawkins die?
Because he got a virus.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
His computer got a virus.
My wife said I acted like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
We were discussing cows in a lesson. I asked my teacher why she was one.
An alien walks into a bar. There is a guy sitting next to him, and the alien touches his shoulder.
The man says, "Do that one more time and I'll run you over." The alien does it again and gets ran over. They get back in the bar and he touches him again. The man says, "Do that again and I'll chop your dick off." He touches him again. The man pulls the alien's pants down and pulls out his knife. He was astonished at what he found. There was nothing there! He looks up at the alien and looks at his finger and fainted.
Are you a toaster? Because I want to take a bath with you ;)
Say "Mike Wizowski" fast to a teenager and I will get you $100000000000.
What has 10 wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.
What's the best part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.
I was going from Germany to Austria, and I accidentally crossed the border illegally. When the police caught me, they told me I was a Nazi. I asked them, "Why?" They said I didn't see the border.
One day a cow ate a fish.
What came out the other side?
A dead fish.