Aed jokes
A neighbor went up to me and asked me where my parents were. When I said, "In the bed," my neighbor said, "Oooooohh, how long is the penis?" I said, "Wait here," and I interrupted my parents while they were doing some "business" and asked my dad the exact question he said. Then he spanked me.
My grandad killed Hitler. He was such a great man!
Person A: C'mon person B, just be happy, smile.
Person B: Over my dead body.
Person B: *gets the noose*
I yam a food lover. I also like sweet potatoes.
How are babies and watermelons similar?
They are both fun to smash open with a sledgehammer and eat the insides.
How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?
With a blender.
An elderly man was happy to finally see his wife again and was packing. He told everyone about the trip.
"I will see her in one week!"
A week later, he died.
I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done, I said, "How about you give me a standing ovation?"
I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair, sad and lonely.
A short person should never piss off a fat person taller than them. The fat person just has to lean slightly, and it's 9/11 all over again.
What kind of bug lives in a graveyard?
A zom-BEE.
My sisters ask me, "Are you really a virgin?" I say, "That's nun of your business!"
Santa was in my social studies book. He was a redcoat.
A scarecrow said this job isn't for everyone.
But hay! It's in my jeans!
One little orphan had roast beef, the other had none.
One little orphan went to market, the other stayed home. Wait a second.
How are a mouse and a bale of hay alike?
The cat'll eat it (the cattle eat it).
Two sticks only make a fire.
Tenzin is a sublime charlatan.
- Harib 2019
What's a cow's favorite war?
World War Moo.
What do you call a stupid male Indian?
"Anshu-man."
A family had a very disobedient dog. It would bite the children’s hands when they pet the animal, the dog would piss on everything, and it would chew their shoes. This is why it was adopted.