Aed jokes

My mom came to me and shouted, "Nobody is giving me a fuck." So I went forward and fucked her!

I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.

I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.

What is Mexican's favorite food? A taco.

"Explain bear is a homosexual, confirmed."

Thanks Ethan for all you've done. We've both made mistakes when all is said and done, but just thanks for being a good friend. This is officially my last post on here, Ethan-Real 1.

I moved so much stone today.

I feel like a guy from Palestine looking for his wife.

Why did the guy bring a rope to the party?

Because he wanted to hang out... permanently. 💀😈

If you don't like my spelling, Explain Bear, have you realized I'm a duck and you are a bear? I've got more internet power and meme power, so shut the duck up and get a life and stay off my property and the internet.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a Glock aimed at you.

I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?

She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"

To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"

Bro, you can't be talking. You built like Barney the dinosaur. Barney is a dinosaur with dinosaur sensation.

I met a lovely girl at a friend's house party, so I went and introduced myself by saying I'm Noah, what's yours?

She turned around angrily and offended and said, "I identify as a hockey puck, didn't you see the sign?"

To which I replied, "Bitch, that says hickey puck. If you identify as a hockey puck, then let me hit you!"

Roses are red. Sunflowers are yellow.

Your mom is so fat she looks like a marshmallow.

Why is Santa's sack always full?

Because he only comes once a year.

Roses are red, the Jews are a cult.

I've practiced Metzitzah b'peh on adults.

What did the skeleton get when he saw goth girls?......A boner.

What's black and sits on top of a staircase?

Stephen Hawking's after a house fire.

This is 15 first-year treating a swan.

Students return: "Without payment?"

The word "I die with many important problems."

Later, you answer this point: "DSD, rats?"

A woman can fake an orgasm for the sake of a relationship.

A man can fake a relationship for the sake of an orgasm.

A man accidentally elbows a woman's boob as she is standing behind him in a hotel lobby. The man apologizes profusely and says, "If your heart is as soft as your breasts, I know you'll forgive me."

To which the woman replied, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 318."