Aed jokes
The first thing a man looks at in a woman, is her heart.
The fact that her breasts block the view is not her fault.
At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me.
On a related note, I suck at darts.
Imagine if a ninja got a low taper fade.
Looking in the mirror, I don’t need a therapist, god damn, I wanna be a terrorist.
My mother was suffering from menstrual pain. So I fucked her for 7 hours to ease her pain. I continued to do so for the next 6 days. Even after fucking her 51 times during her 7-day period, I fucked her 5-6 times a day for the next three months and stopped her period for 9 months! Only her son can understand and ease the pain of a mother.
I don't fuck my mother all day long. I fuck my mother for only 6 hours a day. Sometimes it's 7-8 hours. It depends on how busy my siblings and father are with their work.
What do you call a coffee without water? Africano.
How many East Asians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Tu.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Trick question, feminists don't change anything.
What do you call a Portuguese who commits a crime in Las Vegas?
Consensual Rapper 7.
What do you call a camel stranded in the desert of Arabia?
A Shawarmano Cameldo!
I was reading a great book about an immortal cat the other day. It was impossible to put it down.
It takes a lot of trust for two cannibals to gluck gluck each other. You never know when it's goodbye willy.
An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."
I gave a blind kid a hand grenade and told him it's a beyblade.
Two men are sitting at a coffee table.
Mike: "I think I might have a drinking problem."
Joe: "Why do you say that?"
Mike: "Well, last week I got so drunk I blew chunks."
Joe: "That's nothing to be ashamed of; we all drink a little too much sometimes."
Mike: "No, you don't understand. Chunks is my dog's name."
Did you hear about the Syrian guy that shot a bunch of people? He was Robert Kurd.
My uncle is a horrible ventriloquist. He put his hand up my butt, but he told me NOT to say anything.
Roses are red, eggs come in a dozen, do I need to revive Hitler to teach you how to use a goddamn oven?
When fat people sit down at a restaurant, and you listen closely, you can hear the chair screaming.