Aed jokes
What do you call it when a gorilla bumps uglies with an orangutan?
Monkeypox.
Is it OK to tell a Covid patient to stay positive?
What is the best way to kill a special ed kid?
Call them retarded.
What do you call Dr. Disrespect on top of a building?
Diddler on the Roof.
I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
They're making a new Alien movie.
There are so many aliens you can't keep track.
How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?
Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.
My 19-year-old girl killed a butterfly. I said no butter for you.
She then she killed a cockroach. I told her nice try.
Where does a black Eskimo live?
In a Nigglu.
My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.
I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.
I guess you can say she had me in a trans.
Q: What is the difference between two bottles of Whiskey and 2 pretty feminist girls?
A: You don't leave the bottles in the cold and dark forest after you and your 9 friends are finished with them.
Yesterday during the storm, there was a blackout, so I shot him.
Why does JD Vance not need a conviction?
His running mate has 34 of them!
Whenever I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, and it can be quite annoying, making it hard for the patients to sleep, so I unplug them.
Yesterday, there was a blackout on my street.
So I sold them.
What do you do to a deaf girl after you’re done fucking her?
Break her fingers so she can’t tell anyone.
Me: *sprays some perfume on myself*
Friend: Omg, that smells so good! You’re so aromatic, how do you not have a bf yet?
Me: ... I’m aromantic and aromatic. I do not desire romantic relationships with others although I do enjoy carrying lovely scents with me.
Woman: I want a man who is 6 feet and 6 inches.
Man: Is 6 feet and 6 inches one thing or two?
Woman: Two, I want a man who is 6 feet and also is 6 inches.
Man: Shit!
What do you call an autistic kid in a school shooting?
Target practice.