Actor jokes
Why did the Secret Service detain Johnny Depp at the White House?
Because he was about to kick the cabinet.
"I always like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying."
- Charlie Chaplin
Paul Walker's death was a tragedy, but at least he went out in a blaze of glory.
Chuck Norris is...
What? You don't need to know what he is. He's just, Chuck.
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
Chuck Norris came up with the name for Walker, Texas Ranger in sheer brilliance. You can arrange each letter for the name of the show to display the true name being "Wrangler Karate Sex!"
What is Johnny Depp's new legal name?
Johnny in debt.
Q) What do you call Iron Man when he can't swim?
A) Robert Drowney Jr.
What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?
Cocaine.
Hey, did you know Paul Walker's gay?
Why do you say that?
Because he likes to wrap himself around long, old wood.
Will Will Smith smith?
Yes, Will Smith will smith.
My girlfriend's a porn star.
She'd kill me if she found out.
Joaquin Phoenix as The Joker is like Heath Ledger if he overdosed on prescription drugs... Oh, wait. He already did.
What's the opposite of Christopher Walken?
Christopher Reeve.
Emma Watson gets hotter and hotter in the Harry Potter movies when you’re watching in reverse order.
"Jesus is the pioneer of Hollywood. He's still famous and my favorite idol."
Chuck Norris once ran all the way around the equator and kicked himself in the back.
Biggest joke?
[Image of Zac Efron]
Chuck Norris is the opposite to Oliver Savage.
What does Matthew McConaughey say at the Republican convention...
We're gonna take back what is ours, alt right, alt right, alt right, hee heeeee...