Actor jokes

I was in an audition for the lead role of movie "Aquaman." The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie.

Shame on you Penaldo for destroying my dream!

Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson has made a laudable, command decision to omit real firearms from his movie sets.

This being the case, he ought to produce, direct, and star in his next movie titled: “The Rubber Gun Squad!” 👌 😉

Chuck Norris threw a grenade once. It killed 300 people.

And then it exploded.

Did you know Paul Walker was a method actor? He took his role very seriously as a human torch.

What does a male Asian P*rnstar like to say?

"I love eating cat."

What do orphans and olden day actors have in common?

Both get food thrown at them some of the time.

What was Morgan Freeman called before the Civil War?

Morgan.

Joaquin Phoenix as The Joker is like Heath Ledger if he overdosed on prescription drugs... Oh, wait. He already did.

Danny Devito looks like one of those men with a short, yet thick penis.

Biggest joke?

[Image of Zac Efron]

Your hairline pushed too far back.

Lookin' like it got slapped up by Will Smith :D

Since Christopher Reeves can't play Superman, they got a new person: Christopher Walken.

How do you spell racecar backwards?

racecar

How do you spell racecar sideways?

Paul Walker's death.

What's the opposite of Christopher Reeve?

Christopher Walken.

How do you find Will Smith in the snow?

You look for the fresh prints.

What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?

Survival Guilt.

What is the world's strongest material?

The tree that Paul Walker hit.

Chuck Norris is...

What? You don't need to know what he is. He's just, Chuck.

I can't tell what's farther, the Great Wall of China, or how far Paul Walker flew out of his windshield.

Paul Walker.