Actor jokes
The president of a company comes in to talk to his employees. He says, "As you know, sales have been way down and many of you are not meeting your quotas. We decided to SHAKE things up a bit and introduce you to our new Vice President: Michael J. Fox."
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
How do you know Johnny Depp finished his meal?
When you see fifty empty bottles of wine on his front doorstep.
What does Johnny Depp do when his kids are not home?
Cocaine.
If Will Smith could be in any movie, he would be in "Find My Hairline."
Why did Nicholas Cage and Angelina Jolie attend Paul Walker’s funeral?
He went from "The Fast and the Furious" to "Gone in 60 Seconds."
Hairline look like it got slapped up by Will Smith.
What does Matthew McConaughey say at the Republican convention...
We're gonna take back what is ours, alt right, alt right, alt right, hee heeeee...
Hey, did you know Paul Walker's gay?
Why do you say that?
Because he likes to wrap himself around long, old wood.
Chris Hemsworth is Australian, and Thor is from space. Does that make him an Australien?
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for the fresh prints.
What's got 4 legs and is stronger than Superman?
Christopher Reeve's horse.
What does Johnny Depp hate about driving a car?
He can't drink and drive.
Why are Indians such good actors?
Most of them are phone scammers.
I asked the orphan if he wanted to watch all the Tom Holland Spider-Man movies with me, and he started crying.
Because of all the rampant inbreeding in America, it's not a surprise that Hollywood had to poach models, comedians, and actors from Canada and Australia.
What do you call a porn star that always goes back for more?
Craven Morehead.
My girlfriend's a porn star.
She'd kill me if she found out.
As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.
Michael J. Fox isn't allowed around small children. When he touches them, he is immediately accused of shaken baby syndrome.