Actor jokes
I'm making a new movie, it's called "Veggie Tales." My star actor is Stephen Hawking.
What is the opposite of Christopher Reeve?
Christopher Walken.
Why does Ezra Miller’s Flash run in a straight line in The Flash movie? Bro ain’t straight.
What is the world's strongest material?
The tree that Paul Walker hit.
Did you hear about the emo kid who auditioned for the school play?
He made the cut.
Sydney Drake is hot. ⛓🖤🥺😩
Q: Why did the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz win an award?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field.
What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?
Survival Guilt.
Dad: I heard an actor killed themselves with a knife. It was Reese something.
Mom: Witherspoon.
Dad: No, with a knife, you dummy!
What was Morgan Freeman called before the Civil War?
Morgan.
Your hairline pushed too far back.
Lookin' like it got slapped up by Will Smith :D
What’s the difference between a computer and Paul Walker? I give a crap when my computer crashes.
Why are there no good Indian actors? Because all the good ones are trying to get your bank details over the phone.
Michael J. Fox goes in to get a haircut. He comes out missing an ear.
Chuck Norris: "Chuck Norris doesn't fight, he just allows you to lose."
Me: "How come did you lose Return of the Dragon?"
Why did Paul Walker regret turning in his test?
Because his grade went from 99 to 0 in less than a second.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
Paul Walker died Fast and Furious.
If Michael J. Fox was in the middle of an earthquake, would he know it?
Michael J. Fox walks into the grocery store to buy some salt. When he comes out, a kid turns to his mother and says, "Look mom, a salt shaker!"