Accident jokes
Today is sad. My sister got hit by a car, and I lost my license as a driver.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get hit by a bus.
Just accidentally emailed a porn link to a co-worker... So I emailed ten other co-workers the link and called it a virus.
What does Diana stand for?
Died In A Nasty Accident.
Bro looks like his mom dropped him when he was a new born
Why'd Sally drop her ice cream?
She was hit by a bus.
I'll never forget my grampa's last words, "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Your mama is so stupid. She fell off a bike and didn't know which way to fall!
Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? To get to the other side.
Your mama is so fat that she doesn't get crushed by cars, she crushes cars and babies in strollers on the sidewalk when she falls and doesn't see any remains, so there is no evidence.
When Peter Pan jumped off the Twin Towers, what happened? He Neverland.
When they say you live by the sword, you die by the sword, not in Paul Walker's case. He lived by the car, died by a tree. Well, I guess the car was stumped.
Poopies in my undies.
Getting hurt is a bone-breaking experience. It's such a spine-tingling event!
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she is a dumb b*tch!
What is yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of kids.
I was camping with my buddy, and there was a fire. We were roasting marshmallows, and there was a vine. I tripped on it and went penis first into the fire, and I said, "Well, there goes your children, stupid ass!"
I would tell a 9/11 joke, but it would probably crash and burn.
Race car backwards is race car.
Race car sideways is how Paul Walker died.
What were Princess Diana's last words?
Have you been Dri...?