Accident jokes
I would say fly high to Kobe, but obviously he didn't...
Fletcher is not a lesbian. He is also not an Asian. He is also definitely not an accident.
What colors were Kurt Cobain's eyes? Blue! One blew right and the other blew up!
I heard Kobe was writing a book about helicopters, but it just wouldn't land with people...
I know, I'm going to hell!
Race car backwards is race car.
Race car sideways is how Paul Walker died.
Memes
A guy goes to Starbucks and asks, "Hey, if I can make you laugh, I don’t have to pay." The girl in the window says, "Okay." The guy says, "A little boy named Timmy lost his arms." The girl says, "Oh no!" The guy says, "And his dad left him when he was 4." The girl says, "Uhh yeah." The guy says, "Okay, I guess I’ll be paying then." The girl asks, "Okay, and what name will that be under?" The guy says, "Timmy, I’m Timmy."
*The doctor asking why I've broken 19 bones in the past week*
*My abusive mum- Go on, tell him!*
Well what am I gonna do now...
Why did Susan drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.
A happy mother: "Why is your sister so quiet?! And how did you get super glue stuck on your penis?!"
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
Do nothing about people falling down the stairs, it will keep happening.
Put razor blades on the stairs, it will be their last time falling down the stairs.
I accidentally bumped into a midget yesterday.
Me: "Are you ok sir?"
Midget: "Well, I'm not happy."
Me: "Well, which one are ya?"
What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron!
What goes white, black, white, black, red?
A zebra falling down the stairs.
Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book.
Man 2: Aww, books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore.
Man 1: She was in the road, and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore.
Why did Jerry fall off the moon?
Because he got hit by a fridge.
Did you hear about the guy whose left side got cut off!
But he’s all right now.
What’s red, blonde, and wet?
Saskia in grain.
There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?
A pentagon.
Q: What's a ship's least favorite food? A: Iceburg-ers