What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
Accident Jokes
Do nothing about people falling down the stairs, it will keep happening.
Put razor blades on the stairs, it will be their last time falling down the stairs.
I accidentally bumped into a midget yesterday.
Me: "Are you ok sir?"
Midget: "Well, I'm not happy."
Me: "Well, which one are ya?"
What goes white, black, white, black, red?
A zebra falling down the stairs.
Man 1: I-I ran my mom over to get a stupid book.
Man 2: Aww, books aren't that bad. I'm sure she thinks you're a great son considering she can't drive anymore.
Man 1: She was in the road, and I was rushing to get the last copy of this book. She can't drive or do anything anymore.
What's black and screams?
Stevie Wonder answering the iron!
Why did Jerry fall off the moon?
Because he got hit by a fridge.
Did you hear about the guy whose left side got cut off!
But he’s all right now.
What’s red, blonde, and wet?
Saskia in grain.
There was a math teacher on a plane that crashed. What was the last thing that went through their head?
A pentagon.
Q: What's a ship's least favorite food? A: Iceburg-ers
Knock knock?
Who's there?
Not Sally, she doesn’t have any arms.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She doesn’t have any arms.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a bus.
A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”
Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”
There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.
Why'd Sally drop her ice cream?
She was hit by a bus.
What do you get when you put a baby in a box filled with glass and nails and push it down the stairs?
... A boner.
How do you get chewing gum out of a child's hair? Cancer.
Did you hear about the guy who got his entire left side cut off? Well, he's dead.
Give Kobe a plane ticket, he'll fly for the trip, but give Kobe a helicopter and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
I'M GOING TO HELL FOR THIS!!!
Fletcher is not a lesbian. He is also not an Asian. He is also definitely not an accident.
