My pet parrot had an accident and lost both his wings...he is being very brave about it though...he is totally unflappable
Jerry:my dad got into a fight on a plane Jeremy:that's just *plane* crazy!
My father can take a joke- :because he made one
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay moving on you took to long, how many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge (*Their reply* Idk how many) 3, Open the fridge put the elephant into the fridge and close the door. how do you put a giraffe into the fridge (*Their reply* 3...) Wrong 4, Open the fridge take out the elephant put in the giraffe and close the door, why did sally fall off the swing, A fridge fell on her
It was September 10, 2001 when I stayed up watching TV shows. I woke up late to work at The World Trade Center. But it was burning. I said out loud, " I was late! I'm happy I was late to work! I mean.. I could've di-" I was then beaten and bruised by the emergency services.
“What happens when an Asian man runs into a brick wall?”
“A broken nose..”
If you park your toe-truck on the footpath it'll get toe-d.
Why did lil timmy drop his lollies
(He was hit by a train
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl. I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot
I'm Gay
What's the difference between paul walker and a computer? I care when my computer crashes
Why did Johnny drop his pencil? To look up girls skirts😬🤯😲😳😱🙀🙊
Breaking News! a plane crashes into a bridge
Today; Worst day ever
My annoying sibling got hit by a train and I lost my job as a conductor.
FUCK IT HURTS SO BAD PLEASE SEND AN AMBULANCE I CANT BREATHE (I am Paul walker btw)
The reason Stephen Hawkings died is probably because he feel off his wheelchair, and he must've pressed shut down by accident.
the real reason Steven Hawking died is he was drunk and tried to go down a flight of stairs
The reason he died is that they accidentally flipped the wrong light switch.
when a kinderX=MsgBox("you do not have permission to delete this item",2+64,"error")the abcsgarten teacher askes a kid to sing alphabet he said ab3defg teacher said do you like 3d he said yeah teacher yelled ok do you have a3ds yeah he said teacher goes ito his bag and sais say abcs or your 3ds will be destroyed he says ab3defghijlmnopqrs oh he learned well the teacher thrw the 3ds out the window the kid gets it and it still wirks then he googles abcs it goes to youtube and says abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz teacher is proud of the 3ds the class went home tekll ing pa
why did the boy drop his ice cream.....he got hit my a bus.
