Accident jokes
One day, a skeleton wasn't laughing. Someone asked him why he was not laughing. It turns out he fell and broke his bone, his funny bone that is.
A father and three sons are renovating a house when a wall of that house collapses and breaks the father's back. Keeping calm, he tells the sons, "Well, I guess this is what you would call back-breaking labor." He chuckled, then passed out from pain.
Kids?
A woman wakes up in a hospital after an accident and yells, "Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
And the doctor says, "I know, I amputated your arms."
When this guy fell off a cliff, he got an A+ for egg-cellence!
A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says, "Sorry, it was an axe-cident!"
What do you need in order to crash a train?
A bad track record.
If you park your tow truck on the footpath, it'll get towed.
How to fall down stairs.
Step 1. Step 2. Step 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
What’s red, blonde, and wet?
Saskia in grain.
Why was Aaron's mum sad? The bus missed Aaron.
Three men walk into a bar... you would have thought the last one would have ducked.
Why did Joey drop his ice cream?
He was hit by a truck. (Don't worry, the truck was fine.)
Paul Walker's death was a tragedy, but at least he went out in a blaze of glory.
You were born on the freeway, you know why?
Because that's where a lot of accidents happen. 😈
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
I'm not going to bungee jump. I was born because of broken rubber and I'm not gonna die the same way.
I fell from the stairs the other day. It really "got me down."
Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Stephen Hawking tried to charge his phone and unplugged his life support.