Accident jokes
Guy: Are you depression? 'Cause you're crippling me.
Car driver: No, I'm the guy that hit you with his car and crippled you.
Guy: Don't worry, I was already crippled because I got crippling depression.
Did you hear about Alicia's car accident?
She was really drunk and all over the road until she was all over the road.
What does a school bus crash and a train crash have in common?
They always line up.
Jack and Jill went up a hill. His condom ripped, and now they are from Alabama.
Why did the little boy get hit by a car?
Answer: Because Sally was driving!
What is it called when someone is in a wheelchair and in a fire?
Hot Wheels...
I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.
What is it called when someone is a wheel chair and in a fire?
Answer: Hot wheels...
Well, I got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep. Then my step bro got home, and I did not know, and hours later I woke up. My pants were down, and my butt was on fire.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Kobe Bryant survived the plane crash.
Her: I love Kobe Bryant!
Me: Helicopter Helicopter
Her:.....
Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.
I was crying at school, telling my friends my grandpa died. And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
If there was a girl and a boy and the boy fell, what did the boy do to the girl?
He fell for her.
I will remember my classmate's last words: "Ahh, my pen's ink spilled on my computer!"
I remember my son's last words: "I stubbed my toe!"
What does Kobe and the Twin Towers have in common?
The pilots just couldn't stick the landing.
Wow, that was explosive!
Man, I'm on fire 🔥 today!
Why did the orphan fall off the mountain? Because his parents let go.
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
I was hit by a car. Later, my ex lost her bus job.
I wish that people would stop mailing jokes about Kobe Bryant. Guys, all they do is crash and burn!