Accident jokes
I was crying at school, telling my friends my grandpa died. And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
If there was a girl and a boy and the boy fell, what did the boy do to the girl?
He fell for her.
I will remember my classmate's last words: "Ahh, my pen's ink spilled on my computer!"
I remember my son's last words: "I stubbed my toe!"
What does Kobe and the Twin Towers have in common?
The pilots just couldn't stick the landing.
Wow, that was explosive!
Man, I'm on fire 🔥 today!
Why did the orphan fall off the mountain? Because his parents let go.
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
I was hit by a car. Later, my ex lost her bus job.
I wish that people would stop mailing jokes about Kobe Bryant. Guys, all they do is crash and burn!
Kobe Bryant never missed a shot.
But he nailed that mountain.
What goes hahaha bonk?
A man laughing his head off.
What fits neatly into a hole, slides nicely between breasts, and if used wrong could choke someone? A seatbelt.
What did the helicopter say to the mountain?
Kobe.
Papyrus ran headfirst into a windmill. Guess you can call him a bonehead.
Why did Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
My dad died in 9/11... He was the best pilot I know.
My dad died in 9/11....
He was a good driver.
Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident.
They’ll hear the one word they hate the most: “STROKE, STROKE, STROKE!”
What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?
Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.
When you run over a speed bump in a school zone and you remember that there are no speed bumps.