Accident

Accident jokes

I was crying at school, telling my friends my grandpa died. And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"

  • 7
  • If there was a girl and a boy and the boy fell, what did the boy do to the girl?

    He fell for her.

    I will remember my classmate's last words: "Ahh, my pen's ink spilled on my computer!"

    What does Kobe and the Twin Towers have in common?

    The pilots just couldn't stick the landing.

    Wow, that was explosive!

    Man, I'm on fire 🔥 today!

    1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?

    - A bus full of children.

    2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

    - He died of a yeast infection.

    3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...

    - “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”

    4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...

    - Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.

    5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...

    - Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

    I wish that people would stop mailing jokes about Kobe Bryant. Guys, all they do is crash and burn!

    What fits neatly into a hole, slides nicely between breasts, and if used wrong could choke someone? A seatbelt.

    Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident.

    They’ll hear the one word they hate the most: “STROKE, STROKE, STROKE!”

    What do you call being run over by Michael Jackson?

    Being hit by... Being struck by... A smooth criminal.

    When you run over a speed bump in a school zone and you remember that there are no speed bumps.