What was the last thing that crossed Princess Diana's mind? The steering wheel.
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Why couldn’t Billy go to school today? The bus driver hit sally
Stop making 9/11 jokes, my father died in a plane crash.
Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.
There was an air crash of a Boeing 737 - 800 which can carry around 300 passengers...
It crashed in a cemetery
They recovered 500 bodies
I hit myself on a window yesterday. I really felt the pane.
Q:What is red white and blue and fun to watch? A: a cop car rolling over after tryong to catch for speeding
What do you get when you cross a highway on a bike.
Runover.
Did you hear about the man who ran in front of the bus? He got tired.
Where did Suzy go after getting lost on a minefield?
"Everywhere."
I'll never forget how my grandmother died. "This lemonade tastes like bleach..."
Rose are red. Violet's are red. My parents bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
What happened to the blind man's son?
He thought he was hitting a piñata.
“What happens when an Asian man runs into a brick wall?”
“A broken nose..”
So a woman gets into a car accident and is in the hospital and the doctor goes on to tell the man what is going on; Doctor: "so your wife she is paralyzed from the neck down" and as the doctor goes he says all the things the man must do for her like feed her, dress her, etc. Then the man says " why, WHY ME!" Then the doctor leans over and whispers in the mans ear and says " I'm just fuckin with u she's DEAD!"
Wanna hear some famous last words?
"We are just experiencing some turbulence."
Why is Ronan's forehead the size of Jupiter? Because he dropped the TV on his forehead it also had rings
Why is Jupiter's ring stuck in orbit? Because Ronan's forehead kept it stuck in orbit
Snails are like sperm, slow and sloppy
Fatty and Skinny were in a bed.
Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was dead.
I accidentally bumped into a midget yesterday. Me; "Are you ok sir?" Midget; "Well, I'm not happy." Me; Well, which one are ya?
