My dad had a very unfortunate accident with his death. I clearly asked for Jammy Dodgers and got Bourbons!
Accident Jokes
They asked JFK Jr. if he wanted to shower before his flight. He said, "No, I'll just wash up on shore!"
What was the last thing to go through Princess Diana’s head before she died?
The steering wheel.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn’t wearing a seat belt.
What’s yellow and can’t swim? A bus full of children.
What is stronger than family?
The tree Paul Walker hit.
Guy: Are you depression? 'Cause you're crippling me.
Car driver: No, I'm the guy that hit you with his car and crippled you.
Guy: Don't worry, I was already crippled because I got crippling depression.
Did you hear about Alicia's car accident?
She was really drunk and all over the road until she was all over the road.
What does a school bus crash and a train crash have in common?
They always line up.
Jack and Jill went up a hill. His condom ripped, and now they are from Alabama.
Why did the little boy get hit by a car?
Answer: Because Sally was driving!
What is it called when someone is in a wheelchair and in a fire?
Hot Wheels...
I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.
What is it called when someone is a wheel chair and in a fire?
Answer: Hot wheels...
Well, I got stuck in the dryer and fell asleep. Then my step bro got home, and I did not know, and hours later I woke up. My pants were down, and my butt was on fire.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought Kobe Bryant survived the plane crash.
Her: I love Kobe Bryant!
Me: Helicopter Helicopter
Her:.....
Me: At least you don't say save the trees, cus damn Kobe is good.
I was crying at school, telling my friends my grandpa died. And they asked me what his last words were. His last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
If there was a girl and a boy and the boy fell, what did the boy do to the girl?
He fell for her.
I will remember my classmate's last words: "Ahh, my pen's ink spilled on my computer!"
