Worst Jokes Ever
Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on a bungy jump?
Spasticelastic.
Why are people surprised by Johnny Depp having $30,000 wine bills, domestic violence accusations, rampant substance abuse, poor hygiene, and the looks of a predator?
He grew up a Florida Man, after all.
A man died and went to heaven. Every time you cheat, you get a worse car.
The first man cheated 5 times; he got a Jeep. The second man cheated 3 times; he got a BMW. The third man never cheated; he got a Lamborghini.
The second man saw the third man sad. He said, "Why are you sad?" The third man said, "I saw my wife with a scooter."
What's the difference between Wacko Jacko and Elvis Presley?
14 number 1 hits.
Women should be allowed to choose: dishes or cooking first.
I know your hairline's pretty bent, but your gender's on a different level.
Why do orphans hate Christmas?
Father Christmas isn’t a thing.
Foreplay in may areas: "You awake?"
Way down South: "You awake, mom?"
What's the difference between MJ and myself?
Nothing at all.
I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it.
Today we had a test on September 11th in school. I got a 9/11.
I like your mom naked.
Imagine working at the World Trade Center, only for Osama bin Laden to call and ask if he could crash at your place.
I didn't know that COVID-19 was a thing until I saw your eyebrows and your hairline social distancing.
When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.
But when you do, people scream and run away.
Q: What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
A: You slap her.
(amazing pick up line) Yoo, what if we got matching tattoos? You get two towers and I get a plane, because I crashed right into your life!
How do women make you a millionaire?
When you're a billionaire.
My uncle died on September 11. He was the greatest pilot in all of Saudi Arabia.