Worst Jokes Ever

I got jealous of the zebras. Sorry, I’ll cut it out. I wanted to practice for my med school test.

What do you call a house with dog hair?

A shed.

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.

Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.

Teacher: Hi class, today we will learn about the song, "London Bridge is falling down, falling down."

Then one student said, "I thought it was 'Twin Towers are falling down, falling down!'"

Are you Jeffrey Dahmer? Because I'd love you to eat me.

What does Michael Jackson get high on? A little crack.

Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox, and nobody raises an eyebrow.

I hate the term feminazi. It is offensive to real Nazis.

Osama's aim was horrible. One of his angry birds missed and hit a field in Pennsylvania.

How do you stop a MeToo feminazi from telling the world about being raped? Easy: just rape her mouth shut.

I have a choking kink, so I will enjoy hanging.

What store does an orphan hate?

Family Tree.

What do you call a lamp that molests young boys? A Jacko Lantern!

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?

One is made of plastic and bad for kids; the other one holds shopping.

I said to the fish, "I have dam."

Not a joke, but this needs saying. Please can someone do something about all the pedo posts on here. It’s honestly just nasty.

ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hey Donut.

My wife made electric eel for supper. I was shocked!

What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?

They both like lil' boys.

Did you hear about that musical that was sung by some obsidian?

It rocked!