Worst Jokes Ever

What is large, grey, and it doesn't matter? An Irrelephant! Hahahahahahahahaha! Hahaha!

Why can't pirates play cards in the jungle?

Too many cheetahs.

What is long, hard, and has cum in it?

A cucumber.

What's the artist imagine something?

Imagine Dragons!

Imagine draggin' these nuts across your face!

"Hey babe!"

Googoogaga.

She's so fat that when she steps onto a wood floor, the floorboard doesn't creak, it screams: "Goddamn!!!" before it snaps from the weight.

What's so similar between a pregnant 14 year old and the sperm inside her? They're both thinking, "Oh shit, my mum is gonna kill me!"

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple always gets picked. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Penaldo song 🎵🎵🎵

He has conquered all the Farmers. He is never going to stop. From Lithuania down to Andorra, He has scored a fucking lot. Penalties and Tapins, The Fields of Faroe Islands, He is our GOAT, And his name is Cristiano Columbus. Allez, Allez, Allez Allez, Allez, Allez

One of my students asks, "Can I have a bookmark?"

A year of school and they still don't know my name is Danny.

What do you do when you see a spaceman?

Park in it, man!

What did Satin say to God??

"Bitch, what the fuck you looking at?"

My dad died in 9/11....

He was a good driver.

You can't call yourself a baby boomer if you have never detonated an infant.

Why can't I talk in the dark?

Because I'm anonymous.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

Because it could not find home.

Yo momma is so dumb that she couldn't even get three words into this joke. Maybe that's why she gave it a thumb's down...

What's the one thing that you don't have but celebrities do?

Lots of fans.

Question: Why does my teenage brother wear a cape to bed?

Answer: Because he can't sleep in his race car bed...