Worst Jokes Ever
What did the traffic light say to the other?
"Hey, stop looking at me! I'm changing!"
How do I get out of the toilet seat? Help me, please. I'm very stuck!
What do people have that orphans don't? A family.
Why are you mad because no one wants to adopt me?
What do you say before you jump off a building?
Parkour!
Roses are dead, violets smell like poo, I got a big fucking shotgun, what you gonna do?
What is the orphan's favorite toy from his parents?
They don’t have parents to pay for a toy.
Why do orphans not have parents?
Answer: Their parents are yeet dead dead.
Why do orphans not love their parents?
Because they don’t have parents.
Why are orphans gay?
They call everyone "daddy."
Why do orphans eat cereal without milk?
Their dad never came with it.
What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise?
Breathing exercises.
I told this to my English teacher, and he said it to the class, and no one laughed. Someone help!
I reached into my pocket and pulled out a rectal thermometer and thought,
"Some asshole has my pen!"
Me: I'm retarded.
Teacher: Why?
Me: It took me 2 hours to see "60 Minutes."
Why can’t orphans be gay?
Because they don’t have anybody to call “daddy.”
My girlfriend called me a pedophile. That's a big word for a six-year-old.
Why can't orphans go on field trips?
There's no parent signature.
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a hockey player?
A hockey player gets to shower after three periods.
What are four ways a condom is like a Republican elephant?
1. It stands for inflation.
2. It limits production.
3. It encourages cooperation.
4. It gives you a feeling of security even though you know you're being screwed.
I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.