What's the last thing emos feel before they die? Rope burn.
Worst Jokes Ever
Dr. Seuss died September 24, but that was a lie. Dr. Seuss, when he was 97, he stole a plane and the last rhyme he did was “up in the sky so very far he comes, Dr. Seuss allahuakbar.”
What's the most common thing between Hitler and an emo?
Hitler knows when to kill himself!
What's the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? A fisherman has to bring proof back.
Jack and Jill went up a hill. His condom ripped, and now they are from Alabama.
Two gays are getting ready for Christmas... They are expecting a big package in the mail!
A salamander came by me the other day and he AXOLOTL questions. Ba dum tss!!!
You look like the 0.01 percent of bacteria the Lysol didn't kill.
What's the difference between an orphanage and a supermarket?
People actually want stuff in a supermarket.
I called my mom on Alexa, and she told me, "Please take out the trash." I said, "But I can't, you're not here."
What is it called when someone is in a wheelchair and in a fire?
Hot Wheels...
Are you Jesus? Because I want to nail you.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the car.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
At least one of them gets picked.
Never kill an orphan, because then that will end their misery.
"I have good and bad news," the doctor said to his patient.
"Give me the good news first," the patient said.
"Your test results are back," the doctor said, "and you have only two days to live."
"That's the good news?" the patient exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"
"I've been trying to reach you for two days."
The twin towers are just like my mom and dad, they went to work and never came back.
Me: Hey, do you live in the ocean?
Random guy: Why?
Me: Because you look like a whale.
Can I put deez nuts in yo cluts?
I like my girls like my coffee: Flat and white.
