Worst Jokes Ever
Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?
That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.
What's the difference between orphans and apples? Apples get picked.
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?
One of them is a domesticated pet.
Why is Bill the bad guy?
Monica wanted to suck dick.
What is more used than plastic?
Hookers.
How did my dad know I was gay?
He stuck his cock in me and I liked it.
How do you kill a sheep?
You lamb shank it!
What do you call New York City?
A human zoo.
I call my friends Dodo birds. Because they don't exist.
Q: Why did the student eat his homework?
A: Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
Twinkle, twinkle, there’s a car Coming like a shooting star.
I will stand in the way. I will not be seen again. Are you happy I am dead? Now you made it to the end.
My great grandpa killed Hitler.
Dark humor is like life:
Not everyone gets it.
Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.
What did the other wave say to the other wave?
"Nothing, they just waved!"
I visited the 9/11 memorial, that was bomb just like the towers.
Kid: I got homework.
Mom: Ok, so?
Kid: I got a F in my balls.
What happens if you play with Santa’s ball? You get a white Christmas.
Dam, sometimes when I look at my friend's head, I say, "Dam, that's a dam big head, Nick." Then he is like, "Dude, that's a literal dam."