Worst Jokes Ever
A guy goes ice fishing for the very first time. All of a sudden, he hears a voice. “There are no fish under the ice!”
He ignores it and moves to another area, cuts a hole, and tosses his line in. Again, he hears the booming voice: “There are no fish under the ice!”
He nervously looks up and asks, “Lord? Is that you?”
“No, this is the rink manager!”
Why don't orphans like pizza? Because they don't have parents, that's why.
Me: Can I get your mom's number?
Friend: Here you go:
Me: Ohh, strange, I already had it.
Why did Helen Keller fail school? She was bad at language.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw it.
If you're ever bored, rape an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Helen Keller is so Helen Keller-y that nobody will be as good as Helen Keller.
Helen Keller threw the garbage out and broke a vehicle.
"INNOCENT! THERE IS NO WAY TO PROVE THAT THE GIRL WAS 13. It doesn't matter what texts he sent. There is no way to prove that the girl was 13, or the fact that it was a girl. Failed sting operation."
Why did the Star Wars movies come out 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3?
Yoda was in charge of scheduling.
Captain America is a 106-year-old virgin.
Orphans can be gay, no problem, because they have no one to disown them.
Kamala Harris is so ugly that Joe Biden is shaking hands with invisible people!
What do you call an Italian with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
What do you call a black person in a swimming pool?
Coco Pops.
Hoes be like, "I've been through a lot."
No, a lot's been through you.
Did Jesus die a virgin? No, he got nailed before he died.
I like telling jokes about orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
I walked up to a group of moms having a conversation while waiting to pick up their kids from day care. They were using cutesy words like "ankle biters", "rug rats," and other terms I've heard parents use before when describing their toddlers.
I thought I'd chime in; as it turns out, "carpet muncher" doesn't mean what I thought it does.
What's cold, blue and makes women cry?
Cot death.