Zoo jokes
Why did the cheetah always cheetah against the lion?
Because she knew the lion was always lion.
Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.
"Did you hear about the worst zoo in the world? It only had one dog in it. It was a Shih Tzu."
Why did the loo 🚽 roll roll down the stairs? To get to the bottom.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
What did the cops do when 600 hares escaped the zoo?
The cops had to comb the area.
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I fucked a chimpanzee behind my local zoo.
Why did the orphan go to the monkey exhibit?
To see his closest relatives.
My grandpa has the heart of a lion,
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Wanted to go to the zoo, it was too packed, so I went to KFC instead. Their monkey enclosure is better anyway.
I complained to my dad why he never took me to the zoo.
He said if they want you, they’ll come get you.
My girl asked me if I had seen a gorilla anywhere. I told her yes, I did see one a minute ago at the Central Park Zoo. He said if you don't behave, he will take you back to the jungle and have your ass abandoned for good.
What's big, black, and touches children?
Harambe.
I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.
They never got together at all.
What did the zoo say to the snow ❄️? Get lost!
My grandma has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Why would you leave a damn gorilla out in the middle of the parking lot after you let the zookeeper bring a chimpanzee home from the zoo because me and the gorilla had too much to drink?
What do you call a one-legged hippo?
A hoppo!
I went to the zoo but all I saw was a dog.
Yeah, it was a shih tzu.
How do you open a banana? Answer with a mon-key.
There was a penguin breathing with his ass. One day, he sat down and he died.