Yours jokes
Like this if one of your family members is emo!
"Man, your jokes about homicide are totally killer!"
I can see my future in your forehead.
roses are red, unlike the rest, I'm the one who has your IP address.
Kid: What is the biggest mistake you made in your life?
Parents: Go look above the bathroom sink.
Kid goes and looks, but then he realizes.
Why can orphans never be kidnapped?
No one can tell them that "your parents said that they would be delayed and I was told to pick you up."
Your mama is so stupid, she bought tickets for Xbox Live.
My teacher walked up to the emo kid and told him, "I like your striped red and tan gloves." And she asked, "Where did you get them?" The emo kid replied, "Oh, I made the red stripes myself."
Roses are red. Lemons are sour. Open your legs, so I can devour.
What did the taco say to the Sea Turtle? I like your shell!
Old people kept saying "you're next" to me at weddings, so I started saying it to them at funerals.
Roses are red, your cities are gone, I am Thomas the thermonuclear bomb.
How do you know you’re ugly?
If you always get handed the camera for group photos.
During a discussion at Sunday school, a nun asks the children what they think God takes you by when you die. A kid responds, "I think God takes you by your feet, because once I walked into my parents' room and my mom's feet were in the air and she was screaming, "Oh God, I'm coming!!!"
What happens when you make an asían girl squirt?
She charges you 10 cents for extra sauce.
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's?
You can hide your own Easter Eggs!
If mistakes make people human, then your parents must have been alligators before you were born.
billie: hi.
me: You wanna hear a story?
billie: Yes, sure.
me: Once upon a time, I ran over your dog last night.
Son: Dad, do you remember your first blowjob?
Dad: Ohhh yeah, I do!
Son: How did it taste?
Dad: Get out.
The doctor told me I had aids. I said, "It's your fault, sister."