Yours jokes
The doctor told me I had aids. I said, "It's your fault, sister."
My teacher walked up to the emo kid and told him, "I like your striped red and tan gloves." And she asked, "Where did you get them?" The emo kid replied, "Oh, I made the red stripes myself."
You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
Your mama is so stupid, she bought tickets for Xbox Live.
Old people kept saying "you're next" to me at weddings, so I started saying it to them at funerals.
Roses are red. Lemons are sour. Open your legs, so I can devour.
I can see my future in your forehead.
"Man, your jokes about homicide are totally killer!"
What did the taco say to the Sea Turtle? I like your shell!
Roses are red, your cities are gone, I am Thomas the thermonuclear bomb.
Why is it so hard to choose between buying a Subaru or a Volvo? Because you’re deciding whether you want to look like a rapist or a pedophile.
Like this if one of your family members is emo!
roses are red, unlike the rest, I'm the one who has your IP address.
Kid: What is the biggest mistake you made in your life?
Parents: Go look above the bathroom sink.
Kid goes and looks, but then he realizes.
Why can orphans never be kidnapped?
No one can tell them that "your parents said that they would be delayed and I was told to pick you up."
Me: "Comment if you love yourself and give me a reason."
Friends: comments give reason.
Me: "Notice how I commented nothing."
Day later:
Mom: Let me see your TikTok.
Me: Shows her the video.
Mom: calls suicide.
JK, she just beat me for posting a video on her.
How do you know you’re ugly?
If you always get handed the camera for group photos.
What is the difference between a prostitute and a wife?
A prostitute will fulfill your needs with your money; a wife will fulfill her needs with your money.
What's the best thing about Alzheimer's?
You can hide your own Easter Eggs!
What happens when you make an asían girl squirt?
She charges you 10 cents for extra sauce.