Yours jokes
One time I was watching TV.
Mom: Omg, your dad is coming!
Me: Omg, really?
Mom: Sike, I lied.
Hi, I did not get your text. I texted you when I texted you. You are not [responding].
Your dad is so f**king fat that when he bends over and comes back up, it's the next day.
Hi, here's a joke: You're wasting your time and space, you know it... :D
🧀: C’mon tomato!
🍅: I’m trying to ketchup.
🧀: You’re a mile away.
🍅: I am a tomato! It’s not that easy for me to ketchup.
My life is so sad it's because you're in it.
Your hairline.
My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"
When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"
You're probably getting tired of these gravity jokes... but I keep falling for them every time.
George, when I saw your face, I had to shoot you with a Nerf gun. If you died, wimp.
So I was at the store and I saw a pretty woman, and I said, "Hi."
Quickly, she said, "I am not interested. I have a husband."
And when I saw the woman again, she said, "I need help."
I said, "No, call your husband!" KARMA. 😂😜
When you commit suicide in your house, that's suicide, but when you commit suicide outside, you failed your parkour.
You're so clapped that you make Susan Boyle attractive.
The only thing longer than the Great Wall of China is your hairline.
What's the difference between a bison and a buffalo?
You can't wash your face in a buffalo.
A guy is sitting at a bar when a drunk man walks up to him, calling his mom a whore. The guy just ignores it and stays in his spot drinking his beer. An hour goes by and the drunk man comes back saying, "Your mom is a whore!" The guy sitting looks around the bar, sees people staring and says, "Don't worry, everything is cool here," and shrugs it off. After a few more shots, the drunk man walks up a third time and says, "Your mom... is such... a whore!" The guy finally gets mad, throws his fist on the table and says, "You know what? Go home Dad!"
One day in Roblox, someone was arguing with me, and they asked me my age. "18." They said that they were twenty-two.
Me: "If you're so smart, what's the largest daycare game on Roblox?"
Him: "Yo Hair," he said. Then he left the game, and I said, "That is so messed up. Actually, that's bullcrap."
You're the type of guy to have a whole training arc after a girl wants to fight you.
Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?
Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!
A millionaire LOVES alligators and filled his pool full of alligators. One night he has a party and says, "Whoever can swim from one end to the other of the alligator infested pool unharmed will get a prize, my daughter or a million dollars." Some people line up but they are hesitant. One man gets in the water, swims from one end to the other unharmed, and went to the millionaire. The millionaire says, "Wow, I can't believe you did it! So what's your prize?" The guy says, "I don't care about the million dollars or your daughter, I just want to know who the b@$*ard was that pushed me in the pool!"