Yours jokes

Your mama is so fat, when scientists discovered her, they thought it was a new galaxy.

Imagine this: You're at math class. The teacher asks you, "What's 11 * 11?" You say, "120." The teacher says, "Wrong!" You say, "How off was I?" The teacher says, "1."

Me rn: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHERES THE RAGE TABLE or something like that.

What’s the difference between a pickpocket and a peeping tom?

One snatches your watch. The other watches your snatch.

How do you turn a cat into a fish?

Tell your girl not to wash down there.

I said I was going to my flat. I really meant your girl.

Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work so you'd bang it a few times?

I tried that with my dishwasher, but unfortunately, she ended up pregnant...

I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"

So, I was walking around the outside of the building and I saw a kid and asked, "Where's your parents?" I love working at the orphanage.

Your gene pool is so shallow, you could break your neck diving in.

What's one thing your dad shares with black men? Your sister.

Me: Pretend your name is “puberty.”

Friend: Ok?

Me: I'mma hit puberty!

*hits my friend*

Arab rizz. Are you a tower? Because I wanna blow you up and don't let your friend know about this. Rashid, I told you not to blow it up, I had it.

The greatest Arab pilot, my grandfather.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Your dead son.

Your hairline dates so far back like when your dad left.

Are you Shane Dawson?

Because I can be your pussy.

How fast is the speed of sex?

68 because at 69 you've got to turn around.

Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.

Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."

When your mum sold you on eBay for £2 pound for girls stripper.

You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.

Your momma is so stupid, she farted and turned the radio on to cover up the smell.