Yours jokes

A rich guy and a poor guy have their wedding anniversary on the same day. They meet each other at the shopping complex.

The poor guy asks the rich guy, "What'd you get for your wife today?"

The rich guy replies, "I got her a diamond ring and a Mercedes."

The poor guy asks, "Why did you get two gifts for her?"

The rich guy says, "If she doesn't like the diamond ring, then she can return it in her Mercedes."

The rich guy asks the poor guy, "What'd you get for your wife?"

The poor guy says, "I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo."

The rich guy asks, "Why did you get two gifts for her?"

The poor guy says, "If she doesn't like the slippers, then she can go f*** herself."

Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!

All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.

Guess the joke.

Your girlfriend.

What's the difference between your dad and the mailman? Nothing.

Why is my sister so annoying? Because put your own thing in.

Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"

Your mama is so fat, when I think of her in my head, she just broke my neck.

Bob: Can I come to your house to meet your family?

Orphan: I don't have a family.

You're so fat that when you were born, the nurse mistook you for the father.

My career is worth more than your adoption.

Your mom is so stupid, she got lost in Bed Bath & Beyond and slept on the floor.

When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."

Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?

Kid: A garden?

Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?

What's worse than a failed suicide, you ask?

I fail suicide because you forgot to do the dishes and your parents come after you and they're the ones to kill you, not yourself.

Your hairline is so long that Odell Beckham Jr. missed a catch and saw your hairline from a mile away!

Dad: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.

Child: But why?

Dad: Because you’re going to need them there.

If your name is Jack, I think you are a stupid person that leaves their friends and blocks them on everything.

So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.

I saw a little boy begging for money.

I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yes, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents!"

You're so short that you use a ladder to reach a dime.