Yours jokes

I bet when 2 cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one says, "You're such a cheetah!" Then they laugh and go and eat a zebra or whatever.

You're so tall you can go see God, but you're so tall your balls got small.

You say to your slow friend: "Damn, you're slower than Stephen Hawking!" And that takes some talent.

All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.

The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"

The man said, "My wife does!"

Emo girls be like, "How much am I worth? I don't know. Scan the code on your wrist."

What's the difference between a trampoline and a child?

You take your shoes off before jumping on the trampoline.

Your momma is so fat, when she chose a yellow shirt when she was on a run, the kids ran after her because they thought they missed the bus.

Your forehead is so big that it has five different time zones!

What is an orphan's least favorite show? “How I Met Your Mother.”

Bob: What is the percent of people who are depressed?

Me: If you're only counting me, 100%.

Me, an orphan: *laughing at orphan jokes*

Some person: Stop laughing, it's sad to laugh at your pain.

Me, an orphan: That's the funny part, what am I going to do, tell my parents?

When someone throws something at your forehead, it stops moving and goes into orbit around your forehead.

So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.

A guy walks into a bar, he's like, "What's your number, lad?" and the woman is like, "298-777-fatso.com" and he walked home depressed.

I was walking down the streets with my parents and my sister. My mum said, "Step on a crack, break your mother's back." I stepped on a crack. My sister has been in the hospital ever since.

Why did your mom cross the road?

Why? She didn't, she got hit by a car.

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose 👃, but you can't pick your friends' noses 👃 👃 👃.

When they walk in and you're fucking... everyone at the morgue.

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' noses.

Does it cycle now? 🚲

"Sonic Says", "If you're ever bored and have nothing to do, then just punch an orphan in the face. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?"