Yours jokes

You're the type of guy to have a whole training arc after a girl wants to fight you.

Well, we've removed all of the excess fat from your body, and all that's left, I'm afraid, is the wig, Mrs. Trump.

Let me just remove my finger from your bottom.

Thank you, nurse!

Meat stands for: M - monitoring, E - evaluating, A - assessing/addressing, T - treatment.

So when you're shoving meat up people's asses, then you're monitoring them, evaluating them, assessing them, and treating them.

I was walking down the streets with my parents and my sister. My mum said, "Step on a crack, break your mother's back." I stepped on a crack. My sister has been in the hospital ever since.

Why did your mom cross the road?

Why? She didn't, she got hit by a car.

What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms and no legs?

Matt!

In Alabama... How do you know your sister is having periods? Your dad's penis tastes like blood.

What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?

Dollar a pop!

Get it?

Hey, wake up. I just murdered your family, but I live alone.

Then who are these people in your house? They are people in my house? Well, not anymore, dumb bitch. You're welcome, you could have died.

Dear Gwen and Prince,

Gwen and Prince, sorry for being mean and cussing and other messed up nonsense. To be honest, I really just wanted to be your friends, all both of you! BTW Prince, Gwen is not dating Aiden...I don't even know who Aiden is! Sorry a million times, Zreina.

I heard that your forehead is so big that you could build a neighborhood on it.

If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?

Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!

My grandpa and your hairline go way back.

So, an orphan walked into a store. He gets lost and the store clerk asked, "Do you need help finding your parent?" and the orphan ran out crying.

If your sis makes you mad, so go to your friend's home to play.

If your sis is sad, go tell Mom.

I saw a little boy begging for money.

I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yes, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents!"

You're so short that you use a ladder to reach a dime.

Keep smearing that make-up around your face, maybe you'll get somewhere with it.

My uncle sayEd to me once, "You're my favorite child." And I said, "You mean Nece?" He said, "No, my favorite child."