Yours jokes

Is it sexual harassment if a midget walks by you and tells you that your hair smells nice?

Your hairline goes further back than your mum's divorce.

"That driving backwards, it creeping me out, you're gonna wreck or something." - Lightning McQueen.

Because that is what could have saved Titanic, and it wrecked.

You’re so fat,

that your family moved to the other side of the U.S.A., but they still see you.

Imagine this: You're at math class. The teacher asks you, "What's 11 * 11?" You say, "120." The teacher says, "Wrong!" You say, "How off was I?" The teacher says, "1."

Me rn: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WHERES THE RAGE TABLE or something like that.

Your mum is so overdue on eBay for £2 so she could get a male stripper.

What’s the difference between a mountain and your girl?

At least the mountain has two hills.

What did the orphan say to its parents?

"Hey, Mom and Dad—oh wait, you're not my parents. I don't have none. Will you adopt me, please?"

They people: "No."

Nah! You're so poor, you can't afford free stuff!

I swear, if I compared the size of your mother and multiplied it by the time your dad was gone, it wouldn't even be close to your hairline.

You're so short, when it rains you're the last one to know.

When your mum sold you on eBay for £2 pound for girls stripper.

You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.

Your mama is so ugly! It took your dad 15 years to return from getting milk.

Arab rizz. Are you a tower? Because I wanna blow you up and don't let your friend know about this. Rashid, I told you not to blow it up, I had it.

The greatest Arab pilot, my grandfather.

Your momma is so stupid, she farted and turned the radio on to cover up the smell.

Your mamma is so dumb, she went to the dentist to get Bluetooth.

How do you know you’re at a gay church?

Half the congregation is kneeling.

I got written up on "Take Your Daughter To Work Day." Apparently, it only applies to daughters who are alive.

This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.