Yours jokes
Man 1: You look like Scott Cawthon.
Man 2: I'm gonna put your dick in a Coffin!
Man 3: Me first!
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
Police: Where do you live?
Me: With my parents.
Police: Where do your parents live?
Me: With me.
Police: Where do you all live?
Me: Together.
Police: Where is your house?
Me: Next to my neighbor's house.
Police: Where is your neighbor's house?
Me: If I tell you, you won't believe me.
Police: Tell me.
Me: Next to my house.
Police: *Arrests me*
You tell your dad what one plus one is and he says five. You forgot that your dad's brain is on the floor.
Your hairline goes so far back you have to wear sunscreen.
If you're ever bored, just bully an orphan. What are they gonna do? Cry to their mama and father?
If a girl says no twice 🤔.
Mathematically that’s a yes, so you’re good to go!
Have you heard of the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?
See if these nuts fit in your mouth.
When my family goes to weddings, my senior relatives tell me things like “You’re next!” So I started doing the same to them at funerals.
Your face needs to be put in the trash so people don't need to suffer.
When your parents ask you to take out the trash, you knock out your brother, put him in a closet, and when your parents ask where he is, you say, "I took him out like you said."
If you're seeing this, this is your sign to go fuck yourself.
If your wife says: “What would you most like to do to my body?” “Identify it” is the wrong answer.
Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chili in the bowl.
Your mum went to the dentist so she could install Bluetooth.
1. Your brother says... “you look ugly.” You say back... “Nice, I was trying to look like you.”
2. You're so dumb, I'm surprised you even made it to kindergarten.
3. The ugly vowels: A, E, I, O, and YOU.
What’s worse than banging your sister?
Having to wear your dad’s wedding ring.
Why are hurricanes like women? Because they come into your life, take nearly everything, and leave.
Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"
And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"
Can I make you a basketball cake for dessert?
Yeah, you sure can, but don't be having all your balls in it. It will taste nasty.