Yours jokes
Beauty is blind? Ya damn right, 'cause that's what happened when she saw your ass.
I got knob cheesed after your sexy mom was on top, dry humping me on the vanilla-coloured living room carpet.
Your hairline is so expired, it’s more expired than your milk!
What did the old chimney say to the young chimney?
"You're too young to smoke!"
That's not even a bad joke-
Ex-bf's gf: You're so ugly as hell.
Me: Oh, did I mention that I was trying to be you?
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered, "Y?"
Here's a joke: Your life decisions.
You're so fat you're the reason they made tread "meals".
You're so ugly we can't have neighbors.
You better get used to having dry cereal cuz your dad ain't never bringing the milk back.
Tell an orphan "your mom", but then remember he doesn't have one.
You're so fat that you were the iceberg that made the Titanic sink.
God, you're more toxic than white phosphorus.
Your hairline goes so far back that it looks like Will Smith slapped it.
What’s your favorite food? Chode in the hole?
If you're bored, just punch an orphan!
What are they gonna do...tell their parents?
New degree plans announced by Cornell University:
- Frat Studies, includes classes in acquiring ketamine and arranging threesomes with your homeboy and some random girl.
- Sorority Studies, includes classes in oral sex, binge drinking, and bullshitting after the fact.
- Consent Theory, teaches the new generation that "Yes" means "No" and your problems can all be solved by regretting your own poor decision-making (the shop's still open btw).
Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?
Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.
Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.
I like trees when they are firmly stuck in a hole. PS, your hole.
When you send your girl a dick pic, but she says it's small, so you text back and say:
"Enjoy the little things."
As an older brother, I always gave my little sister advice. I always said to do your best and never quit. So one day I went to her room. I see my sister giving married men blow jobs.
I ask what are you doing? The married men said she is giving us blow jobs because our wives don't do it. My sister said you told me to do your best, and my best is to suck them dry. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder.