Yours jokes

What color is your Bugatti?

I told a kid in a wheelchair, "Use your nitro boosts!"

What is the best way to get gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

You looking for jokes? I have one: your life.

A 28-year-old medical student is auctioning off her virginity online.

For $300K, you can have the worst sex of your life.

You know you’re going bald when you use more toothpaste than shampoo.

Grandpa said, "No phone near the table," so I said, "You're not allowed near the school."

Why did the orphan cry when the teacher yelled at him?

Because the teacher said, "Don't make me call your parents!"

Your mama's so fat, when she jumps in the pool, the water jumps out!

If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

When you're banging the class slut and the school shooter says to leave his corpses alone.

You: Find a time clock that can change time.

Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?

You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!

Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.

If your parents never had children, chances are, you won't either.

Three people explored the jungles, one was from France, one from Britain, and the other from America.

While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three, "You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However, we aren't that heartless, so we'll let you choose your deaths."

So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head, and said "Viva la France!" and shot himself. The Britain guy requested poison and said, "For the Queen!" and drank the poison. Lastly, the American asked for a spoon. The tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself, "Try make a canoe out of this one!"

If you're ever bored, rape an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?

What the difference between a priest and acne

Acne waits till your 13 to cum on your face

Why do you wrap a hamster in duct tape?

So it doesn’t explode when you’re fucking it.

Are you sure your father isn't a thief?

Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

Your momma is so stupid, when someone said it’s chilly outside, she brought a spoon and bowl.