Yours jokes
Your hair is so far back, you left it at your last address.
Guy: "Can I tell you a joke?"
Spiderman: "Yes."
Guy: "You only have 11 months on your calendar."
Spiderman: "Why?"
Guy: *holds up knife* "Because I murdered May."
Me: Mom, the weight scale wants your weight, not your phone number!
You're so skinny that the professor thought you were the skeleton.
You look sexy with that rope around your neck.
Your mama is so ugly, she tried summoning Candyman, but he refused to come!
Your hairline goes back to when your dad left you.
Your mom is so fat when you printed the picture, it would not stop printing! 😂🤣
What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
Not your dad.
Do you know Candice?
Nope.
Candice dick fit in your mouth.
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.
Oh, I just love talking to orphans.
When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.
Bing, bang, boom!
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.
Why does Sans say "I got a bone to pick with you?"
Because he needs to pick your balls.
Dad: Here you go son, all your toys have gone to the orphanage.
Son: Why, Dad?
Dad: You would be bored there if there was not anything to do.
"You're an orphan forever," - Harry Potter.
Do you know Imagine Dragons? Imagine dragon these nuts across your face!
The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents, buddy."