Yours jokes
Why is a priest different from acne?
Acne waits to come on your face.
An orphan told me people kept bullying him, so I said, "Tell your parents."
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, and they want to kill them, but the Europeans beg to have their lives spared.
The Native Americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, “Shove it up your butt, if you laugh we kill you.” So, he shoves the peach up his butt and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs and the Native Americans kill him. They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, “I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?” The second guy says, “Oh yea, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”
What's the one upside to being an orphan?
You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.
What is Chuck Norris' favorite Sonic song?
"Open Your Heart."
Yo, hairline go so far back that your dad found it before you did.
If your uncle Jack needed help getting off of a horse, would you help your uncle Jack off a horse?
So little Johnny was walking to the bathroom, and he said, "Grandma," said, "why is the blood coming out of your ###😥 I need to call help."
Your hairline goes so far back it looks like Will Smith slapped it.
Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.
Are you mixed? Cuz you're half fine, half mine 😏
If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.
If you're almost there and then she laughs, then you've got a whole different problem on your hands.
A man wakes up in the hospital and says, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"
"Of course," the doctor says. "I amputated your arms."
Person: "How many people have you had intercourse with?"
Me: "Nun."
You're so bald that when you wear a poncho, you look like a broken condom.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
Your mom is fat and so are you.
You're so fat, you only know the letters KFC.
Your forehead and your hairline must be great friends, because they go way back.
When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)
"Thank you for letting me borrow your wife."
*darned autocorrect*
"Thank you for letting me borrow your wi-fi"