Yours jokes
Become an anti-furry for free KFC and dead orphans in your basement.
What flowers are on your face?
If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?
You're so scary that even your hairline ran away.
Dagger. This is to get your attention, for Dagger Jr. and I. We'd like to speak with you, and possibly Lynx, if we can find a time to all talk.
What’s something you can say about vacation, but not about your girlfriend?
Next time I’m bringing all my friends.
Your mom is so fat that when she went on the scale, it said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"
"Sir, we noticed a 2-year gap in your resume."
"That was when I went to Yale."
"A Yale man? Well, you're hired!"
"Thanks! I really need this yob!"
There are two siblings, a little brother and a big brother. Now, the big brother had a girlfriend, and one night they decided to go and have sex. So, the bigger brother goes to pick up his girlfriend one night and take her home. So they get to the bigger brother's house and walk into his room. Now the two siblings shared the room, and they had bunk beds. When they walked in the room, they saw the little brother asleep in the bottom bunk, so they went up to the top bunk to have sex. The big brother says, "Whenever you feel good, say 'lettuce,' and whenever you want to switch positions say 'tomato'." The girl constantly is saying "lettuce, tomato," and then the little brother wakes up. He quietly remarks, "Can you guys stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over me."
Your forehead is so big that it's visible on the world map!
Boobs are like batteries...
AA will get the job done...
C is bigger than AA...
D is bigger that C...
...and if they're square, you don't want to put your tongue on them!
What should you never say to a Japanese person? "You're da bomb!"
Are you a walnut, because I'm about to nut all over your walls!
When you meet your gf at the family reunion.
If you’ve got depression, then your life is a joke. Everyone laughs at both.
If you’re having a bad day, just punch an orphan.
Who are they going to tell? Their parents?
When I was in middle school, I was on my bus and people were doin' hairline jokes, and I heard this guy say, "Your hairline goes back to... uhhhhhh... 2042?"
When you realize you forgot to mop your room, you hear footsteps.
You're so fat that you only know 3 letters: KFC.
My battery lasted longer than your sad, depressing life.