You're jokes
My grandma always looks at me when we go to a wedding and says, "You’re next!"
When we attend a funeral, I say, "You’re next!"
When cops say you have the right to remain silent,
You're just happy you have the right to do something.
Your mom's ass is so petite and big, I'd pound that till the Earth shakes.
Your hairline is receding so hard, they petitioned it to change for the McDonald's logo.
Your hairline goes so far back that it has no records of it happening in history.
Your forehead is so big, explorers mistakenly thought it was Mount Everest.
There's a new Viagra and prune juice diet that's out.
Unfortunately, you can't tell if you're coming or going.
How do you know when you're near Wacko Jacko's grave? When 'Thriller' is out and about.
What do you do when you run out of carpets? Fetch your shotgun and look for Explain Bear.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You're so flat we can play chess on your chest!
Your hairline go so far back it remember the Civil War, ugly ahh.
Your hairline goes so back that it’s ingrained in history.
Your forehead is so big, they used it for the Berlin Wall and the USA border.
What has four legs in the morning, two legs at noon, and three legs in the evening?
A kitchen chair! Your momma sits in it for lunch, and your dad only manages to reattach one of the two legs that broke off by evening.
Nah, did your barber catch a seizure while lining you up?
Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that always comes out of your mouth?
Why don't orphans like getting lost?
Because if people find them, they ask, "Where are your parents?"
What’s one thing that comes up at the worst possible time and ruins your day?
A period.
What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute?
Your job still sucks!
When should you discourage your husband from exercising and dieting? When he wants to fit in your clothes!