You're jokes
When you're from Arkansas, you know! Door!
What did your mom say last night? "Go harder!"
What do you think of your mom? I have to go now and tyyyytt.
"Is your refiger running?"
"Is your refrigerator running? You better go catch it!"
Your mom: Your plate is full, that's enough food on your plate.
Me: My plate is not full, I still see the white of the plate.
911 help. Hello?
Never mind, forget it. You're so stupid 😡😡😡😡😏
Be grateful:
You're missing work today because in the past, someone cared enough to leave that banana peel on the stairs.
"Captain, captain, there's a man lashed to the mainmast."
"That's your lookout."
How can you tell if your husband is dead?
The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote.
I have no problem with prostitution.
It's like an Air BnB for your dick.
Job interview: "What's your greatest weakness?"
"Honesty."
"I don't think honesty is a weakness."
"I don't give a fuck what you think."
Sometimes, you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble. It's called fun.
How is a marriage like a hurricane?
In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, but at the end, you lose your house.
What's the difference between three cocks and a joke?
Your mom can't take a joke.
My cousin just broke up with her boyfriend, and I told her, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of his stuff."
My cousin just broke up with his girlfriend, and I told him, "Since your dad owns a moving company, you can already take half of her stuff."
What is the difference between your dad and a video game?
Your dad doesn’t beat you.
They say you should love your neighbor. Does that mean I have to love the president?
You know, you should adopt a pet. So then you can feel the pain that your parents felt when they adopted you... wait... also the regret after.
How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
Either way, they’ll kill your dog.