You're jokes
Don't say your life is a joke, because jokes got meaning.
Your forehead and your hairline must be old friends, because they go way back.
"That driving backwards, it creeping me out, you're gonna wreck or something." - Lightning McQueen.
Because that is what could have saved Titanic, and it wrecked.
The two biggest dyslexic guy lies: "My check is in your mouth," and "I won't come in your mailbox."
Your mama's so fat, when she jumps in the pool, the water jumps out!
If you're bored, punch an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Do you know Imagine Dragons?
Yeah.
Imagine dragon my nuts across your face.
Your mum is so fat when she died the Earth was flat! 😂😂😂😂
Your mom's so fat, when she entered a fat contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals!"
Roses are red, violets are blue, feminist pussy stinks, and yours does too.
A woman's husband has a yearly conference. The first night he's away from home, their teenage son Tommy comes into their room at night and starts to make love to her, but she knows that it can be dangerous to wake a sleepwalker, so she doesn't say anything. He does this every night for two weeks and stops when his father comes home.
She realizes she's pregnant and has a baby boy.
The next year the same thing happens, she gets pregnant again, and has a baby girl.
The third year, she's feeling very guilty, and after thirteen nights of incredible passionate lovemaking she sits Tommy down and tells him, "Every time your father leaves town on business, you sleepwalk into my bedroom and make love to me. Bobby and Anna aren't just your brother and sister, you're their father!"
Tommy said "You think I was sleepwalking?"
You're so ugly that when you were born, the doctor threw you out the window, and the window threw you back.
I masturbated by accident. I read the wrong thing And tested its factuality.
Well, it's been some good years now, haven't they? Being your own partner has never felt so together.
What would you like as your last meal?
Fried chicken. Extra crispy.
Jared from Subway. Remember kids, "tuna sub" backwards is what I'm going to do on your face.
Your teeth are so yellow they slow down traffic.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You're welcome.
Your mom gave me a three course meal last night:
Starters - Foreplay
Main course - Reverse Cowgirl
Dessert - Blowy
Won't forget the side drink of an individual on individual bukkake.
I'll never forget my brother's last words: "Why is there a revolver in your hand?"
Your mom is so weak, when she jumped from the Twin Towers, her baby became disabled.