You're jokes
What’s the difference between the twin towers and your parents?
Nothing, they are both just memories.
Your mom is so slow it took her 9 months to create a joke.
Lady: "Can I lick your balls?"
Me: "Ummmmm, ok?"
Lady: *grabs ball sack and licks my balls*
Me: "I'm gonna have to clean these now!"
Lady: "Let me do that."
Me: "No, thank you! I have to use these baseballs for practice!"
Your hairline reminds me of a car taking a U-turn.
POV: You accidentally get H in your IV drip.
Memes
Your head was mistaken for a chicken wing.
Is there a really annoying girl at your school and she's so fake? Well, say this:
Me: Hey, I have a nickname for you.
Her: Really? What?
Me: Sweet-in-low.
Her: Why?
Me: Because you're artificial.
He: I'm Nike, and you're McDonalds.
She: Why?
He: 'Cause I'm doing it, and you're loving it. :)
Your dad must be a mailman.
"I hear you asking, 'What's your favorite instrument?' The Trombone."
A dog talks to another dog and says,
"Wow, you're a hot dog!"
Which nut is the worst for your diet?
Donuts.
How do you get a squirrel to be your friend?
Act like a nut.
If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it a la mode.
When you unplug the charger to charge your phone, but you realize it was plugged into your grandpa's life support:
You're so ugly that I choked and died.
"Hamlet deez nuts go into your mouth??" 😂😂😂😂😂
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
Where's your mom?
In the bin.
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If you woodchuck on the world with that, you have a really deep in, and he says goodbye. When he says goodbye, you're like, "if you."