You're jokes
More like your anus.
You're so fake, Barbie was jealous of you!
What do you do if your dishwasher stops working?
Punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
How many dicks can fit inside of a hooker? I don't know, ask your wife.
What's the difference between acne and a priest?
Acne waits until you're a teen to cum on your face.
You know what the worst thing about gang rape is?
Having to wait your turn.
I’m rather relaxed about death.
From quite an early age, I’ve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
Just to get things straight, I'm NOT, I repeat, NOT racist, but this joke goes out to all the people who talk about other people with darker skin than the other person.
Bully: Your skin is so black and ugly (for the 5th time).
Me: I'm so happy you love my skin color!
Bully: Ew, no I don't!
Me: Then why do you keep talking about it?
You’re so fat,
that your family moved to the other side of the U.S.A., but they still see you.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Your Boyfriend.
Your Boyfriend who?
Your Boyfriend who doesn’t love you! Bye!
"You're an orphan forever," - Harry Potter.
When you're fighting with the emo kid and he brings his friends. Now you gotta fight the suicide squad.
What do you say when your friend has an ankle sprain?
"Damn bro, you got an ankle spring!"
When your mom tells you there's a present in the laundry room,
The present: Laundry.
*gunshot*
Your hairline and your eyebrows are like your parents, separated.
Random person: Imma smack you so hard your skin pigment changes! Me: Who the hell do you think you are? Michael Jackson’s dad?
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Do you have any problems with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit says, "No." So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.
What did one orphan say to another? Where's your home?
Your forehead's so big, NASA uses it to test satellite signals.
You lost 30 lbs when you joined Weight Watchers, and lost another 10 lbs when they shaved your back.