You're jokes

How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?

Call and tell her about it.

God needed an extra two hands to make your fat ass of a mother.

My husband and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.

Your forehead and your hairline must be friends, because they go way back!

I thought a waitress said to me, "You're good looking." In fact, she was asking if I'd like some pudding.

I didn't break my back in the accident, thankfully.

But I can break yours today, hopefully.

A man tried to tame a horse, but always failed. The news spread around town that this man couldn’t tame one single horse.

One day, the man went to a bar, where a fairly old man sat next to him. “Well partner!” He began. “I guess your dream horse is more of a NIGHT-MARE!”

You're so fat, you have your own gravitational pull.

The tables in my class are straight, but I can’t say the same thing for your hairline.

If you tried to look at your hairline in a mirror, it would shatter into 100,000,000,000 pieces.

I'll call your mom a cow, but which one?

Your hairline goes so far back it looks like Will Smith slapped it.

Your mama so fat, it took all the trees to build her a coffin.

"Hey Kels, what's on your arm?"

"Oh, that was the cat."

"We don't have a cat..."

"Oh..."

I asked a European what do you call Karens in your country? He said, "American women."

You're so fat you need butter to get in the car.

Why did Hellen Keller's dogs run away?

Because wouldn't you runway too if your name was djhdhekdndyekedhekekfjkfurir?

Your forehead is so big, the earth split in half!

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth, then it's a soap opera.

Your hairline left you because you were too ugly for your push back hairline.