You're jokes
How is a marriage like a hurricane?
In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, but at the end, you lose your house.
One spelling mistake can completely ruin your marriage.
I accidentally texted my wife, "I’m having a wonderful time. I wish you were her."
Me: What has two legs and bleeds?
Friend: Um, women? Obviously?
Me: Actually, half a dog. So you're still right.
Bro, is your hairline and your forehead good friends because they go way back?
Your cut [is] so broke, even Bob the Builder can't fix it.
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.
Roses are red, Violets are fine. Why is your life So much better than mine?
I hate it when you say your life is a joke because a joke actually has meaning.
You are recently injured because of your job as a driving instructor, so you couldn't go on vacation with your friends.
Your friends tell you that they have an Asian pilot.
You realize, "They have a -1% survival rate!"
If you don’t know the difference between their, there, and they’re, then you're an idiot.
What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job!
Police officers hope you’re a criminal.
Doctors hope you get sick.
Mechanics hope you get car troubles.
But only thieves wish you prosperity.
Weird?
What's the difference between three cocks and a joke?
Your mom can't take a joke.
What words black people can't say? "Thanks for your help, officer."
The definition of the word "Disappointment" means running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose.
Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.
Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏 If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏
Person with no arms: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Your hairline retreats from your face just like all the guys that look at you.
Imagine saying "my bad" instead of "sorry for your loss" at a funeral.
Your hairline goes so far back that it was getting whipped in the 1800s.
What’s worse than spiders on your piano?
Craps on your organ.