You're jokes

I like your cut, G.

*Slaps really hard*

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

When cops say you have the right to remain silent,

You're just happy you have the right to do something.

What does broccoli and sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you’re gonna hate it as an adult.

What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?

Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blow job!

Notice on a shoe repair shop: I’ll heel you, I’ll save your sole, I’ll even gladly dye for you.

What’s something Bill Cosby and Freddy Krueger have in common?

Once you fall asleep, you’re fucked.

Why don't rappers ever play hide-and-seek?

Because good luck hiding when your name's always dropping!

I read the chapter of numbers, but nowhere did I ever see your number.

A failed marriage is like an Avengers movie.

First someone snaps, then half your stuff is gone.

One spelling mistake can completely ruin your marriage.

I accidentally texted my wife, "I’m having a wonderful time. I wish you were her."

I’m really good at algebra. I can replace your X without even asking Y.

You know what’s traumatizing?

Your mom breastfeeding in front of you.

Help!

Your mom is so fat that the photographer had to go to the moon just to click the photo of her belly button.

One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Claus,

"Please send me a sibling!"

Santa Claus wrote him back and said, "Okay, send me your mother!"

If you think of a president as your king, then the USA got checkmated on November 22nd, 1963.

Yo, hairline go so far back that your dad found it before you did.

When your mama went to Sea World, the whales started singing, "We are family, even though you're fatter than me!"

Sister: You're so stupid.

Me: Calling me stupid doesn't make you any smarter!

Your hair and your hairline must be best friends, 'cause they go waaaaay back!

Friend: Hi!

Me: Who are you?

Friend: ...your friend?

Me: What are you talking about? The doctor already said I couldn’t have any.